hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
