Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.