Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS