there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I look better un-naked...
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Randomize