I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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