A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
