its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
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It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
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Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm