she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
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They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
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Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm determined to sit on that face.