I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch