I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.