So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
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He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
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Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion