party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
