Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize