NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Operation Purity has been aborted
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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