I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Randomize
