should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
