last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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