his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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