That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
