hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
