break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
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you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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