I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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