There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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