My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
