Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Randomize