walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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