he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
