Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize