Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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