I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
