My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize