Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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