He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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