is your mom at the bar?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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