Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
