Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
