The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
i think my cat just said my name.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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