I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
