The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
