i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Randomize
