no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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