its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
