thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
