Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
