Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
