How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
