I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
