sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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