lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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