is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Farmville is her only friend.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
