So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
