My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I have feelings that need drinking.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize