the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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