I'm jealous of your bromance
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
