he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
