No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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