k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize