I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I believe in your delicious
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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