I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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