yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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