You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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