he wants to bone in the snuggie
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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