we have officially lost it.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
