Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
