$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
