If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
