I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
