I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
