I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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