You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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