i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
