Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
